Why Teaching Conversation Skills to Young People is More Important Than Ever

by Heather Peterson

Is technology is making our world more silent?  Have young people become experts at escaping face-to-face communication?  Have we lost the art of conversation in this generation?

I refused to let my fourteen year old son live in silence any longer and forced him to learn how to use his cell phone to call someone.  This only came about because I demanded he use the phone feature if he wanted me to pick up his friend.  He looked at me and simply said, “We don’t talk.  We only text.”  Now, let me be honest here.  This kid knows how to talk.  I get calls from teachers all the time about how much he talks in class.  My question is, when do we give young people the chance to have conversations in class to build critical thinking skills?  How are we equipping our young people to be college, career and life ready in proverbial silence?

We are indeed raising and teaching digital natives.  Technology is a way of life.  Literally.  By the time a child has the dexterity to hold a phone, tablet or mouse that device morphs into another appendage.  

Most young people today will always have tools to communicate digitally and in the classroom these tools can indeed help extend learning.  Technology is also a tool that allows some young people to participate when often times they would not.  The delicate balance is not letting the technology completely replace those face-to-face conversations.

Why is it important to engage young people in conversation?

Conversation helps young people express their thoughts, get what they need, resolve conflicts, ask for help, and learn from adults and from one another.  Young people need many opportunities to talk—with each other, with adults, one-on-one, and in groups.

When planning the ways we want young people to learn we should start by thinking about the conversation we want them to be able to engage in, rather than making long lists of concepts and skills to be covered.  Concepts and skills are important, but they are important because they support the conversations, not the other way around.

Paul Barnwell a high school educator and author asks the question: What if we focused on sharpening students’ ability to move back and forth between the digital and real world? An ironic benefit of technology is that we can leverage digital devices to capture and teach the art of conversation. All smart phones and tablets are recording devices; why not use those to record and assess students’ conversational skills? We can use technology to encourage students to strike a balance between digital literacies and interpersonal conversation.

We will have to take the lead as educators and teach the art of conversation.  We often have students to turn and talk or work in groups without setting them up to be successful.  Having conversation protocols or expectations sets the stage for success.  Young people are depending on us to sharpen their verbal communication skills so they can master interviewing skills, collaborating in teams, and entering a diverse workforce with the ability to navigate the nuances of communication.  

While the old adage my say, silence is golden.  If we want young people that are effective communicators, collaborators, critical and creative thinkers that demonstrate positive citizenship then we better get the conversation started - most importantly we better include young people in these conversations.

Heather Peterson is the Climate & Culture Coordinator at Hampton City Schools. You can reach her at hpeterson@hampton.k12.va.us.